Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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