Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
