Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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