This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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