3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my being single is dangerous.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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