I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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