Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
