Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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