she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
