Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize