It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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