I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
