hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
