You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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