So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
