I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
