Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
