9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
