i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
