More tranny stories later!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize