My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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