Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize