Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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