..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
