i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
