Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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