I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I skipped work to stalk him.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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