He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
