I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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