my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
