Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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