its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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