you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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