if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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