Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Non-Jews are for practice
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
