What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize