What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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