I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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