The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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