Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
