I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
