Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
