Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
