Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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