Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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