just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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