The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
