doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
