I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
