Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
