I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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