Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
