weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
