apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
