Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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