Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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