i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
