dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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