Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
