Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
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