the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
