Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
