Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
